potc on crack
by manic the hedgehog
Summary: this is pure crack, the only potc story i have ever written, it holds extreme ooc, and the stragest pairing you will ever find.... EVER... enjoy again this is for the pure crack please dont flame full summary inside


**Ok I came up with this fic when my cousin sent me an emote on MSN it made me laugh and I decided to write a fan fic to it for the crack yes I am aware that this pairing is totally stupid but flaming me wont change the fact that I wrote it and this fic is just for fun anyway so don't like it I don't really car****e just go away. **

**I own nothing **

**Warnings: extreme silliness, weird pairing, definite OOC and the bizarrest lemon you will ever read**

**On with the fic **

To say the rest of the crew where surprised as to the reason why jack was abandoning them all on an island was surprising was a serious understatement. they had expected something along the lines of 'I want all the treasure' or 'payback' but never the admittance of a love affair that involved the ship and its captain and now all thoughts that some of jacks lights where off upstairs where made certain fact.

Some of the crew where standing with their mouths hanging open while a brave Mr Gibbs stepped forward

"Captain. did you just say you and the ship where involved… sexually?" he just had to check that he hadn't lost his hearing or that he wasn't deluded, Jack swayed gently on the spot

"Mr Gibbs. I have never once thought that you where hard of hearing but as the saying goes you learn something new every day. Now give me your rum" he finished looking expectantly the man before him Mr Gibbs pulled out the rum and handed it over the other man who then took a long swig and turned around

"now me and my beauty will be off" and with that jack climbed onto the boat and some 20 minuets later after falling off the ladder some 40 odd times he sailed away, leaving the shocked crew to stare and try and work their heads around what they had just been told.

20 minuets later and the crew of the interceptor where now just as shocked as the former crew of the black pearl having rescued the said mentioned crew from the island they had been marooned on they had been told the whole story of what had gone on and where now all trying to get their heads around the bizarre news of Jacks love interest.

"Should we try and find him?" Will asked everyone agreed that it was probably for the best as the captain of the black pearl was obviously crazy or very very drunk both where highly lightly to be in play when the man spoken of was Jack Sparrow. And so the ship set off in an attempt to find the captain and his ship…

2 days later and the whole crew of the interceptor where shocked once more into silence at what they where witnessing the whole crew where standing at the side of the ship facing the black pearl with their mouths hanging open

"now I get why Jack wanted us all off the ship" Elizabeth suddenly dropped to the floor everyone tore their eyes away for a fraction of a second to see of she was alright… she was… now back to the jaw dropping scene… what might they be seeing you might ask well I will tell you

Jack was apparently using a hole in the ship as the hole for his cock to thrust into

"Now that's something you don't see every day" Mr Gibbs stated quietly

"It certainly confirms that some of not all of jack's lights are off upstairs" Will stated.

"Aye, that it does but jack wouldn't be jack if that wasn't the case" Mr Gibbs replied to several nods of agreement.

"Do you think we should do something?" Will asked,

"Na best leave the captain to his own devices" Mr. Gibbs stated shaking his head,

"We should also give his some privacy" everyone nodded in agreement and slowly the crowd dispersed.

**Approximately 2 hours later.**

And Mr. Gibbs had very nearly fell over board at a shout from Jack a second followed,

"Mr. Gibbs"

"Aye Captain"

"What are you doing over there" Jack asked, Mr Gibbs was now contemplating what to tell the possibly deranged man, he decided on the truth and 5 minuets later was finished with the story, Jack has listened and was now swaying slowly on the spot while looking at his ship as though he had never seen it before

"Mr. Gibbs"

"Aye captain"

"I think I have recently been very very drunk" Jack said still looking at his ship in a way that was questioning in the very least, Mr Gibbs and the rest of the crew all let loose a silent sigh of relief.

**Another approximate 2 hours later**

And the black pearl and the rest of her crew where once again sailing away to wherever her questionably deranged captain decided he wanted to go, and said captain was still contemplating still trying to make sense of what had apparently gone on not 4 hours ago Jack placed his hands on the helm pulled out an apparently broken compass looked at it put it away and then smirked turning it and heading off while humming a tune which became legible only at the end…

"….and really bad eggs…. Drink up me hearties yo ho"


End file.
